Sometimes Good-bye is a Gift

It was about two years ago that I made one of the most painful decisions of my life, to walk away from my dream job and the place I thought I would retire. Those of you who know me from those days may be surprised to see me describe it that way, but it absolutely was.

There is something uniquely satisfying about a job that requires EVERYTHING you've got...each talent, each learned skill and all the creativity, passion and patience I could muster from a 20-year career. And to be able to channel all of that not to make some corporation more money, but pour it back into the community you consider home is special. It may be the only time I ever have it.

I truly love the people I worked with. Most saw their role as more of a mission than a job and we inspired each other to work insanely hard for a community that has a lot of needs - and so many strengths.

Most of the people in my professional life thought I was crazy to leave the private sector and go to work for schools in 2006. But I followed my gut and I did the same thing in August 2012 when I knew I had to leave.

It was embarrassing to me at the time to admit how much it hurt to leave and how angry I was over what was happening. I've been through a lot of tough stuff in life, and your heart is not supposed to break over a job. If the people I worked closest with hadn't been threatened by the leadership at the time, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to go.

I'm so grateful for the support of so many people during that period in my life, but especially my husband. It was one of those life-defining times where it could go either way and thanks to Ken I didn't get stuck in the bitter, angry muck. He simply refused to allow me to see myself as a victim.

Today we are living a life I could never have imagined. Our own company where I get to do what I love for clients who need and appreciate me...living in a foreign country on a beautiful lake surrounded by volcanos. I am almost afraid to enjoy it too much.

I wish I could say we got here because we smartly figured exactly how it would all come together, but it wasn't a grand plan - it was the result of choices every.single.day.

A thousand little moments where I decided to move forward, to forgive, to stay positive and to accept life, even when it didn't seem like what was happening was good. It is fighting to keep an open mind and heart in a world that doesn't always seem fair or kind.

In a twist of irony I see now that this incredible adventure would not have been possible without the intensely negative experiences that forced me to change direction. It also would not have been possible if I stayed angry and focused on how unfair it was.

Winston Churchill once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." I couldn't agree more.

Spanish School in Guatemala -Eye Opening

Since we know our adventure here will last at least through December (most likely longer), I decided that I wanted to get better at Spanish so I can get around easily and make some local friends. 
First off, Spanish is not the primary language here at the lake. We live among mostly Mayan/indigenous folks, not Latinos - those descendants of Spanish colonial rule mostly live in the larger cities here in Guatemala (and tend to be much wealthier).
If you were born in a town on one side of the lake you speak Kaqchikel  (Ka-check-Kel) and on the other side you would grow up speaking Tz'utujil (Su-tu-jill). Apparently, they are very distinctly different and it's common that in the next town over, you wouldn't be able to understand what they are saying. So, the supposedly unsophisticated Mayan here at Atitlan speak at least two and usually three or more languages. 
I was really excited to have the opportunity to work with a Mayan woman for my Spanish classes, and hoped to learn more about lake culture as well. On the first day I began the trek to the school. Here's a look back down to the building I started from and also the view up the rest of the property to the gate - both are MUCH steeper than they look in photos. Add that to the 6k feet level oxygen and whoa! By the time I get to the top and open the metal entry to the road to town, I am usually a little out of breath. I was feeling particularly sorry for myself one day about that part of my walk, and then I looked up from the road and saw a kid on a mountainside trail about 10 times more steep with a backpack on, hiking down to get to school. Humbled.




































My walk takes about 30 minutes depending on my stride and how much I am slowing to enjoy the weather and the views. Yes, we have a quad that I could drive but I am also trying to get a little more active. Each morning is perfect  - crisp and refreshing but not cold enough for a sweater. Here are a few photos from the walk:

The journey is beautiful and filled with the sounds of birds along the way. I'll have to record them next time and talk a little about the nicknames Ken and I have for the birds based on the how they sound to us.
I almost never run into a tourist or non-Mayan for that matter. It is usually a Mayan man or woman on their way to work. They always make eye contact and say some variation of Hola or Buenos Dias...always. My teacher asked me why gringos sometimes don't acknowledge people they see...I told her it was a cultural thing that also varied widely within a city in the U.S., but I much prefer the Mayan way of greeting each other.



The roads are rough and a little tight when there is a large truck coming through, so although it would be amazing to create my own soundtrack to compliment the views, I keep my ears open. Besides, I wouldn't want to miss the birds and the greetings!

One of my favorite sounds is of the wind chimes in this temple on the hill above the road. It was built since we left and I haven't had a chance to go up to see it and participate in their sunrise and sunset ceremonies, but it's on my list.

After about 2/3rds of my walk as I near the town of San Marcos, I come to the paved road...literally in pavers. At first this was confusing to me - isn't using pavers an extravagant way to pave your roads? Then I thought about the relative cost of labor and materials/machines. It is likely much cheaper to use pavers that can be made locally and use local labor. The average decently paid construction worker here gets about $10 a day, police and other government folk make about $20. A store owner in town selling fruit and vegetables hopes to make $15.

One of my favorite things along the way is this community garden. The day after I took this photo, I ran across a Mayan man working in there and we said our hellos.

The church in town, although not as fancy as some, is beautifully constructed in stone. This is the back side of the church that faces my path to school. It is a Catholic Church, which is the most prevalent religion here. The Mayan are also followers of Mayan symbols and mythologies and somehow weave them together in their world view.

This the first look into town along my way. The first building on the left is a store that sells food and further up on the right where the tuk-tuk is parked is actually a health food store that sells home-made granola, coconut oil, natural health and beauty products and stuff like that. In the distance you can see the "cancha," the gathering place for big town events that also serves as a semi-indoor basketball and soccer field.

Right as I approach the cancha, I turn to my left into what looks like a stone pathway smaller than an alley. It's a clever construction - if you can see there is a center lighter section with holes in it. That allows the heavy rains here to clear pretty quickly into gutters that run under the paths.
There are a couple stone pathways like this that run from the main road through town down to the lakefront where you can catch a boat to another town on the lake. Along the paths you'll find quaint hotels and restaurants, small stores and farm stands, massage and spa centers, and the usual trinket/souvenir places. It's pretty charming.

And this is where I take my classes - inside restaurant Fe there is a large courtyard and three small "classrooms" on the edges.

Most importantly, this is my teacher Irma. She is a lovely 18 year old girl that has no problem keeping me in line in our one-on-one class. She is quite funny, though this picture doesn't show that. I think she doesn't smile much in pics as her ID card was a part of one of my lessons and it looked similar. She has a been very creative with lessons, many times they are conversations in which I tell her about my life and answer questions about what I do each day. Other times there are games that break up the small amount of "stand and deliver" teaching. She asks me each day if I liked the class and if I want to make any suggestions for her teaching. Coincidentally, I have been editing a white paper on dual immersion teaching and learning for a client and it has been tremendously impactful to be a language learner in a foreign land. So much so that it deserves its own post later. :-)


Irma is wearing pretty typical Mayan clothing with a blouse (huipil) tucked into a wrapped skirt (corte) and a belt wrapped over the middle. She is sweet and very smart, although unfortunately with 7 in her family and two parents my age who are ill, she can't afford to go to school. :-(
She has been wonderful to work with and we have formed quite a bond. My classes end next week, but we have already made plans to get together at least a couple times a month so I can teach her English in exchange for some Mayan culture lessons.
We are also both soccer girls, so after the lessons, we're heading over to the field to kick the ball around. Yay!

Why No Blog? Busy Snowball!

Okay, so assuming anyone has even noticed that I haven't written since late June (besides Jana!) maybe you have wondered why I haven't been writing. I call it the busy snowball effect.

So at first the reason was time. My last post was the day my guy headed back to the states for some client work and my dear friend Liz came down to visit. It was her first time to Guatemala (first time any further than Mexico border towns at all!) so I felt a certain amount of pressure to ensure that she enjoyed the trip. Since my first trip to Costa Rica in 2003, my life was changed. My priorities changed. I saw a world of people, places and values that I never imagined existed and it expanded my world in a way that it could never become small again. I want that for everyone...arrogantly speaking, I think the world would be so much better for it.

So back to why I have not written. I am a big fan of the author Ekhart Tolle and his advice to be in the now- it is a near-constant theme for me. While Liz was in town, I was very much in the moment and writing about what we were doing together wasn't a priority, but here are a few highlights:

• Getting pulled over and fined by the police (another post on this later!)
• Wonderful walk/hike to Lomas de Tzununa
• Bee sting that could have been trouble
• Shopping in Pana and interacting with a highly entertaining young entrepreneur
• Shopping in San Juan and introducing Liz to a painter Ken and I know there
• Tuk-tuk and boat rides around the towns of the lake
• Meeting expats at the Maya Moon futbal matches of the World Cup

This is my buddy Liz - our first friend to take us up on an offer to come visit! Liz is a rockstar child advocate in Sacramento and that continued here...she was almost always striking up a conversation with a Mayan young person (and she is much better at Spanish than me!)

Truth be told, her visit taught me something about myself. As much as I like to think I'm tough - grew up in North Highlands, never been afraid of a challenge, there was a burden I didn't anticipate associated with being the person in charge, the person who needs to take care of things. Made me really appreciate my hubby and the peace he brings me, just by being the guy.

When Liz headed out and Ken flew back in, I enjoyed a couple awesome days in the city, drinking in the pleasures of city life.

 We also found our new in-city favorite place, the Radisson. Great price, location and this rooftop hot tub!!!

Ken and I went back to the lake for the one week we were together in more than a month, and enjoyed a small 4th of July celebration together as well as a 7.1 earthquake centered less than 50 miles away.

Scary to wake up to at 5:30 a.m. and it lasted longer than was comfortable, but gave me a lot more confidence about the strength of our building. Good to know that despite the lack of official gov't standards, our landlord made the building right. Most things around the area were in decent shape. Worst thing for us was our power and itnernet out for the day because it comes through San Pedro.

Poor us, off to Lomas de Tzununa and a day or working in the restaurant with amazing views and breaks at the pool!

This is Ken on a project conference call...and me...taking a break. I swear I work, just ask my clients!

The week went by too quickly and before I knew it I was on the plane to Baltimore to present at the National school PR Conference. I have to admit, I didn't have the best trip there....a little icky stomach combined with an over ambitious plan to use all free miles to get there made for a day that was not my favorite. After the 3 1/2 hour shuttle ride to the airport, I started the flight wondering how desperate my situation might get....working the dials overhead to get as much air as possible before take-off.

It never got horrific, just not...good. The highlight was that I was sitting next to a Guatemalan grandmother and her grand daughter and after playing a bit with the grand daughter and sharing my paper and pens with her, I was able to piece together a sentence explaining why I couldn't also share their amazing homemade feast of chicken and tortillas in the the ceramic bowl that also looked homemade. "Lo Siento, yo soy poco enferma" - not entirely grammatically correct, but I got my point across!

Sometime about 1 a.m. I landed in Baltimore and while I struggled some with the stomach thing, it was a fantastic experience - rooming and presenting with one of my besties, Kate -

And reconnecting with some of the best (and funniest) people I know who work hard for kids and schools every day.

And, this happened - my friend Music paid our friend Dan to moonwalk through a broken fire hydrant. Yes, it was mid afternoon and no, we were not drinking. 

Too bad we didn't have any fun while talking about the important issues facing schools and kids today. ;-)

At the end of the week, I was off to the other side of the US and my hometown, Sacramento! But that's for another post..

You've hopefully understood the "busy" part of my explanation for not blogging, but now for the "snowball." When I wait as long as I have, it snowballs...I feel bad that I didn't blog and then feel like posting it weeks after the fact is somehow not valuable...but I am sucking it up and promise to get you caught up quickly!

Enjoy every moment folks.

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